Judge Judy Sheindlin

 

Judge Judith Sheindlin will appear today on all the major Sunday morning news shows to defend her landmark decision that saw the Easter Bunny fined $5000 per day for life after being found guilty of having an extra-marital affair with the Chick-fil-a spokes chicken. It was proven by a preponderance of the evidence that the two had steamy, torrid rendezvous across the globe for eons. 

 

to protect the children

The EB continues to proclaim his innocence. His defense is that he could never have done this horrid activity with a chicken! He stated that everyone knows that they are nasty birds that eat their own feces. Also, she could never keep up with his sexual prowess. EB said that humility would not allow him to explain or show the court his massive manhood but if he had done what he is accused of the damn walking feather farm would not be able to sit for days let alone lay eggs. 

Can be seen at chickporn.com

For her part, Chicy said that she did not find the EB attractive at all. She is in a committed relationship with Foghorn Leghorn. At this time she coughed up a furball and exclaimed, "How did that get there"! As she adjusted her position in the seat she made a vague reference to an ongoing hemorrhoid condition. 

Judge Judy flicked a fly that had been buzzing around her head and admonished Chicy for the bird poop between her toes and barked her favorite line, "They don't keep me here because I'm beautiful. They keep me here because I'm smart."      

 

The ruling that Judge Judy imposed is to go to the support of the EB's multitude of children and the legal fees of Mrs. EB's attorney, Bugs. 

That's all for today's edition of 

 **No chocolate bunnies or eggs were harmed during this report