We recently spent three days at the Pachira Lodge in Tortuguero, Costa Rica to celebrate the 4th of July. It is at the edge of a rainforest and next to the Tortuguero National Park. The only way to get there is to take a boat through canals for 30 minutes. The video above shows people arriving just as we did. The welcoming committee hands you a tropical tea-like drink and your relaxing and informative time has begun.
We took a boat tour of the national park where we saw monkeys, birds, frogs, lizards, caimans and so many other critters I could not begin to remember all the names. The foliage, flowers, and trees were gigantic! Our tour guide, Fransico, did a fabulous job of spotting various things for us to see. At one point I felt a little sorry for him because he had to explain everything in Spanish and English.
We also walked the street of the town of Tortuguero. This town is on the other side of the canal on the Caribbean side of the Atlantic Ocean. It has one street that's about 6 city blocks long, very narrow and has only tourist shops, restaurants, and a sparse amount of small homes for the locals. The town is 100% dependant on tourism for their existence. No cars. the only way to travel is walk or bike. The only way in to or out of town is via boat. I italicize town because the guide for this adventure is a native and joked about its tiny size.
The lodge was very clean and the entire staff was very friendly and professional. All meals were buffet style and the food was very good. The pool was spacious and well maintained. The poolside scenery made this old man's heart beat rapidly and supplied plenty of fantasy material for months to come. The bar served the typical tropical drinks and all the national beers. One drawback is that you cannot order ANY type of snacks or food. Just as well I guess. Why spoil a good double Absolute on the rocks with comitas.
The tour guide was honest and told us that we had come at the beginning of the turtle egg laying season which is the biggest tourist attraction there so you may want to just keep your $15 per person night tour fee in your wallet. So we did. Spent it at the bar instead.
If you want a relaxing and totally different experience this one fits the bill in spades. I will caution that although cell phones worked ok the wifi signal is too weak for you to use your laptop for Skype.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
There is a growing cancerous media movement concerning kids being separated from their parents when they, the parents, try to enter the US illegally. The outrage is centered on humane treatment. Treatment that THE PARENTS is subjecting their kids too! The kids are placed in a clean environment and given 3 healthy meals a day. Probably for the first time in their life. Afterall, the reason given by 99.9% of the parents for breaking our laws is because their life in their home country is horrendous and apparently breaking the law(s) of the US is worth the risk of losing their children.
SO WHATS THE PROBLEM??
I raised two children and unfortunately I did break the law while they were young. I had to serve my time and guess what...........I WAS SEPARATED FROM MY CHILDREN!!!
Get with the program. Break the law and pay ALL the penalties!! Or, honor the law and live happily ever after.
OR GO HOME!!!!
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Is this supposed to pull at the heartstrings of legal law abiding citizens? Shame us into believing that this female, mother?, who is now wanting to enter our country illegally after having their baby in a horrendous? environment with the very type of man that creates this environment. But wait! If she is successful she can help that same man? also sneak in. Afterall, how could we EVER expect to keep a father from his child!!
How about a REAL SOLUTION. Each person that is a qualified LEGAL CITIZEN who's heartstrings have been pulled and therefore seeks a remedy to this poorly perceived travesty STEP UP. Fill out a postcard size form with your name, address and contact info and we will send you the name of a mother and child(ren) who you will sponsor. Along with their basic info, we will also send you the estimated bill for their transport to your address and the first 5 years expense projection to keep them in a US citizen type lifestyle* *This will be based on middle-class style, not poverty. You are rescuing them, remember?
Here's a plus for you. Since you pulled your head out of the sand, or some other place just below your bellybutton, and are taking responsibility if they slip away from your supervision you will be billed at 50% of the cost to track them down and return them to you. Your family will bare the rest of the cost. Afterall, this all started because of your commitment to family, remember? Also, if they commit a crime you will only serve half the time that they are given for said crime.
Now don't you feel better?😉 You are doing your part to REALLY STEP UP and save a little piece of the world.
Now, Hallelujah, and pass the gravy!
Sunday, April 22, 2018
Since 1970 this date, April 22, has been designated as THE day to heighten awareness of the issues plaguing the planet are raised. In reality, it is merely a feel-good day to stroke the individuals need to feel good. Allow me to explain..............
This year the theme is End Plastic Pollution. To get started on your crusade click here. After reading, this will wet the appetite so that you can go all in and do your part to save the planet. Become aware of all the plastic that you come in contact with daily and start reducing and reclaiming and recycling this man-made item. Then next week or month when you purchase the next whatever that will inevitably be packaged in plastic you will dutifully spend the time and effort to have this scourge properly disposed of in the recycle bin that is either in your home or a few miles drive away. What you say!? Refer to paragraph one.
My mission is done here. Thank you for your time. Remember when it comes to causes they should be seen as a lifelong journey and as Loa Tzu said.........
"Every journey begins with the first step."
The EPA was created in 1970 as an offshoot of EARTH DAY. So it is only fitting that we take a look at what's happening there today. Click here.
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Golf is boring. Just a bunch of old men chasing a ball around in the woods. If you're not athletic, you can always play golf. I've heard these and many more. My personal favorite is, "Looks so easy. Anyone can play golf". Of course, if this were true then why aren't there many more playing professionally and earning that easy multiple thousands, even millions of dollars every year?
Having played the game for 20+ years I can assure you that to do it you have to be somewhat athletically inclined and willing to devote time and practice to your game. Most important you better be very humble lest wise the course will send you away with a rash, bitterness, ulcers and the need to seek out a therapist. At most a closet alcoholic.
Swinging the club is a challenge in concentration and ultimate body control. If you fail to keep your head down and eye on the ball through contact with it you will whiff it to your side or miss it altogether. If you drop your shoulder you'll hit behind the ball. If your knee bend is too deep or too shallow as you come through the ball your control is non-existent. There are so many other things that must be properly executed at the right time or your shot attempt will be so errant that your language will make a sailor blush.
While playing the sport I had the good fortune of playing many great courses. The Pinehurst Resort in North Carolina is the most prestigious one that I had the honor of allowing to totally humiliate me and send me and my shattered self-esteem to the 19th hole to partake of a river of Absolute on the rocks as I swore revenge in the future if I didn't have my clubs melted down to teach them a lesson!!
While at Pinehurst I played the #7 course and the #2 course. The #2 course is the one that has seen many PGA tournaments. See Chart:
I stopped playing several years ago. After I semi-retired I lost interest playing golf and traveling so much. However, I will admit I miss seeing strokes being made such as this:
See you at the 19th hole
Thursday, April 12, 2018
UMMMM........ Grilled cheese sandwich. What're your favorite flavors to add to this delicacy? The choices seem endless. Including the choice of cheese types. American, cheddar, swiss and on and on. I never tried goat cheese and never will but to each his own.
Now there is Mayochup. A combination mix of ketchup and mayonnaise. Good for hamburgers, hotdogs, and..... french fries. This last item will go over here in Costa Rica very well. I had never known people that preferred mayo to dip their fries into until I started going into fast food joints here. I also have learned that the mixture is good to use as a dipping sauce for shrimp. Cocktail sauce is rare to find here and when you can you practically need a second mortgage to afford a small bottle. But I digress.
Accounts of man melting cheese on bread dates back to the Romans but the modern day grilled cheese sandwich is mainly attributed to the 1920's. This is when sliced bread became common when Otto Frederick Rohwedder invented the machine to do that task. He had created the prototype in 1912 but that was destroyed in a fire and he plugged on and had the perfected model ready in 1928. In 1965 supermarkets began stocking individually wrapped cheese slices and around that time people started putting the second slice of bread on top and thus the sandwich was born to stimulate people to start experimenting with different items to bulk up the main course to be served with french fries and a soft drink.
If you want to be adventurous as you celebrate this day then click here for 50 recipes to delight your palate. Of course, a good soup rounds out this all American meal. I was unable to find a good wine list reference for grilled cheese sandwiches but experience tells me that any cold beer will be perfect to flush down the creation of your choice.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Left lane slowpokes
So you like life in the slow lane. If you are caught in Virginia it could cost you $100.
Since July 1, 2017 thousands have been ticketed for driving too slow in the fast (left) lane. Although the law has been on the books for awhile it was pulled out, dusted off and clarified and then enforced aggressively by the State Police. Personally, I give Kudos to them!
You have your cruise control set listening to a favorite tune on the CD player making good time and as you pull into the fast lane to pass a slower car and maintain your momentum when boom, there is a driver on his/her Sunday drive on a weekday impervious to the fact that due to your quick reflexes you just saved them from meeting that maker they are dwelling on. As you curse and use many un-PC words and shove the horn into the steering column they reconnect with reality and wonder what is your problem. Your blood pressure rises and for the next 50 miles, your day is ruined and you are now a believer that a $100 fine is just not enough.
So if you find yourself pedaling down the highways of Virginia stay in the right lane unless passing or prepare to shell out a C-Note For driving the rest of us crazy.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Jimmy Kimmel
Late night comedy. Late night Trump bashing. Late night leave the illegal immigrants alone but laugh at me as I make fun of the first ladies accent. Afterall, she's a LEGAL immigrant. Only illegal immigrants have the right to have an accent or for that matter not even speak English. No one knows if this is Jimmy Kimmel's thoughts but they are definitely his actions. Watch the above clip from his latest attempt to embarrass the First Lady. This from a creature, oops, a man that says that America needs immigrants to be viable. He just doesn't admit that they need to be illegal and on the taxpayer's dole. Kimmel is entitled to his opinion like all people are. But is he entitled to trash others that he doesn't like every weeknight on national TV?
I think it’s noise. It’s been noisy and competitive since day one because this agency has been a bastion of liberalism since day one. As we are making progress there and also reducing the regulatory burden, it is infuriating to those that have dominated and controlled the agency for years.
Scott Pruitt
(Washington Times podcast)
Time to go Pruitt!! You are a stain and a fraud. You were in charge of the EPA and to correct some of the wrongs in some of the regulations that are blatantly ridiculous. Instead, you have turned your position and power into a personal crusade to help your cronies in the oil industry while at the same time attempting to position yourself as some power hungry Czar. And the LIES! (click here). To parrot a sincerely meant phrase, "Throw the bum out"!
"One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
Thomas B. Reed
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Where were you on Dyngus Day? What?? You ask is Dyngus Day!? I guess that you aren't Polish. Please allow me to enlighten you.
This is a celebration that dates back to the baptism of Polish Prince Mieszko I in 966 A.D. Today it is celebrated on the Monday after Easter with subdued fanfare in cities like Buffalo, New York, Chicago, Illinois; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Bristol, Connecticut; Elizabeth, New Jersey; and South Bend, Indiana. Like St. Patricks Day, on this day everyone is a little Polish. The jury is still out as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.
It is celebrated with the men getting the women wet and tapping them with a pussy willow branch. For those that have the improper images in their head let me clarify. Today squirt guns are used for the wet part and a pussy willow is a flowering plant. Both these activities are a way of the male(s) showing an interest in the female(s). This is a far cry from today's youth that prefers sexing from their phones. Although this may well get the girl(s) wet and hope to get their pu..........never mind.
Food and drink for the festivities include but are not limited to Polish beer (no, they are not called brewski's), pierogis, kielbasa, stuffed cabbage, ham, eggs, sausage, specialty breads, and lamb-shaped butter. Polka music is a tradition on Dyngus Day and it is often mandatory for participants to dance at least once. Parties typically start in the mid-morning on Monday with a buffet of traditional fare and go on until after sunrise on Tuesday. There are currently no studies on the hangover rate at work on the Tuesday return from the previous 24-hour lovefest.
So mark your calendars for April 22, 2019. Now that you know that on that date you can party with beer, food, dance and get some women wet and touch their pussy willows.
Polish Beer
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Judge Judy Sheindlin
Judge Judith Sheindlin will appear today on all the major Sunday morning news shows to defend her landmark decision that saw the Easter Bunny fined $5000 per day for life after being found guilty of having an extra-marital affair with the Chick-fil-a spokes chicken. It was proven by a preponderance of the evidence that the two had steamy, torrid rendezvous across the globe for eons.
to protect the children
The EB continues to proclaim his innocence. His defense is that he could never have done this horrid activity with a chicken! He stated that everyone knows that they are nasty birds that eat their own feces. Also, she could never keep up with his sexual prowess. EB said that humility would not allow him to explain or show the court his massive manhood but if he had done what he is accused of the damn walking feather farm would not be able to sit for days let alone lay eggs.
Can be seen at chickporn.com
For her part, Chicy said that she did not find the EB attractive at all. She is in a committed relationship with Foghorn Leghorn. At this time she coughed up a furball and exclaimed, "How did that get there"! As she adjusted her position in the seat she made a vague reference to an ongoing hemorrhoid condition.
Judge Judy flicked a fly that had been buzzing around her head and admonished Chicy for the bird poop between her toes and barked her favorite line, "They don't keep me here because I'm beautiful. They keep me here because I'm smart."
The ruling that Judge Judy imposed is to go to the support of the EB's multitude of children and the legal fees of Mrs. EB's attorney, Bugs.
That's all for today's edition of
**No chocolate bunnies or eggs were harmed during this report
Friday, March 30, 2018
In the latest news, Eugenio Scalfari, co-founder of La Repubblica, says that Pope Francis told him in an interview that there is no hell. Scalfari is an atheist and a long time friend of the Pope.
Scalfari is known for not recording or taking notes when interviewing his prey, I mean interviewees. Although this would on the surface tend one to believe anything the guy writes is suspect to the truth, he is a long time friend of the Pope. Besides, the reporter quotes the Pope as saying, "They are not punished, those who repent obtain the forgiveness of God and enter the rank of souls who contemplate him, but those who do not repent and cannot, therefore, be forgiven disappear. There is no hell, there is the disappearance of sinful souls."
The Vatican poo-poos this as pure mierda, and reminds all that the Catechism of the Catholic Church states: "The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity. Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, 'eternal fire.' The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs." (1035)
What a relief. The Catholic church that hides pedophile priests and charges families to hold mass for their loved ones have publicly denounced the quote! All is once again pure nirvana again.
So let us all raise our glass and propose an Irish toast to Satan and his minions, also known as, politicians. 'May your soul be in Heaven an hour before the Devil knows you're dead'.
